Friday, July 25, 2008

Go Away

Before I moved from Michigan, I was telling someone how my friends were going to throw me a "go away" party. Once we realized my mistake, laughter erupted. Of course my friends don't want me to go away, but they wanted to send me off nicely, so I would know that they cared. My "going away" party was amazing. So many people that I care for were there, I felt like the most special person in the world. People said sweet things and showed me love.

If they did want me to go away, they probably wouldn't have thrown me a party. They probably would have just gave me a swift kick in the pants. Thank goodness that wasn't the case! But, what do you do when you know that it's time for you to go away. Not move away, that list is a bit more concrete: pack shoes, underwear, jewelry, 8 lb. weights (if you want to hear the story, I'll tell you about it).

I don't get the feeling often, but I've recently felt like it was time for me to go away. To remove myself from the extra things and just retreat. There's no staying up until 4:30 in the morning talking to friends during a retreat like this. I deactivated my Facebook profile, turned off g-chat, and turned off my phone (sorry if you tried to call). I came to realize how much of a distraction those things were to my life. In one night, I got fed up enough to deactivate the FB! I always thought people who did things like that were seriously crazy. It's how I communicate with a lot of the people that I talk to; how could I give it up?! I'm not sure. I know I certainly didn't expect it to feel good that I don't currently feel obligated to check to see if someone posted on my wall or to see what people updated their statuses. It feels good to not constantly check my gmail to see if anyone's online to chat me up. There was freedom when I told these things to "go away."

I want everyone to know that I am okay, but right now I just need to take a break from the world. It's not personal, of course. It's just what I need to make it through right now.

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